September 19, 2015

A Year of Adventure

Last year, someone we barely knew passed away. Mike and I attended the funeral because so many of our friends were shaken by his death, and we wanted to show our support. The funeral drew what had to be thousands of people, all showing up to pay their respects. During various speeches, they played a  slide show with music. And it was then seeing this slide show that something struck me so deep, it immediately changed me forever.

 Slide after slide, picture after picture, showed this guy Jacob, and man did this guy live.  Pictures of him having the time of his life- hiking, building houses for the needy, taking vacations with his wife, spending time with family…. Picture after picture showing that yes, his life was cut short, but he had taken every ounce of it and made his time worth something on this earth.  This person I barely knew lived this full life in the years that God gave to him, and left no regrets or fear on the table.  Mike and I had debated attending the funeral because we didn’t really know him, not like our friends did anyway, yet in a day, a strangers memoriam could change the way Mike and I were living our lives.
And that’s when we said yes. We had for years kinda said we were too broke, or too busy working on our career,  to do all the things we wanted and, just like that, we decided to stop saying “no” to living and say “yes”.

So we went, and said “yes”. Yes to living life.

We went to Mammoth and did downhill mountain biking and thought we would die. We went to the one of the oldest bars in the country in New Orleans. We flew to Denver to be with my best friend as she started a new life. We floated down the river at midnight  telling stories with friends. I hugged my mom tightly, and visited my family more. I’d be on a work trip for a week, exhausted, come home and jump on a plane to meet Mike somewhere new, somewhere fun..because if not now, then when?  

We dubbed it the year of adventure, and promised ourselves that we would answer “yes” anytime it beckoned.

The year of adventure carried itself over in so many ways. We stopped eating like shit and took care of ourselves, we had deep conversations about what we wanted from life, what it was taking from us, and we talked about something we hadn’t talked about in our 13 years together: starting a family.

And now we wrap up our year of adventure by going to Europe. The place I never wanted to go because I was too scared. And it made me uncomfortable. And gave me anxiety to be on a plane that long. And isn’t Wyoming just as good? But that’s not what life's about. Life’s about living it with such greatness, and fearlessness and squeezing every damn ounce out of it that you can, saying yes to adventures, and being uncomfortable. One day I’ll have a funeral ( hopefully a long time from now), and I hope my kids, or whoever is there picking out photos can say, “Now that girl Shanelle, she lived”.

May you have your day, year, lifetime of adventure. Starting today.


May 27, 2015

I'm Sooooo Busy!

So I've been saying that quite a bit lately, and truth is, I am. I've also noticed that everyone else is busy too.  In truth, we all are. How often do you hear, "I am just sooooo busy, I just don't have time!"? We use it as a rite of passage to show to everyone around us that life has dealt us more than humanly possible and my busy workload/weekend/life trumps yours. My to do list is longer than yours.

But is that really a good thing?

I keep hearing these words come out of my mouth and people around me as an excuse as to why we are overweight, sick, unhappy, crazy, unbalanced and just don't have time for each other. Do we do it to get sympathy? I guess sometimes I just want people to understand that the struggle is real (haha). Like real real. But what's the point of that? At the end of the day, when I don't make time for my family, friends, finding balance, and anything else that would likely make me happier, I am not a human being, I am merely a human doing.

See that there?

A human doing versus a human being. When we are pile our plates so high,  we are just doing, we aren't being. And yet, we compete to be the person who does the most stuff like it's a competition that in the end we will be crowned the winner of "Busy".

How boring does it sound to say you did nothing this past weekend? Or at work admit you had the time to sneak out and go to the gym for an hour AND take a shower? Because scenario A would make me think you don't have a life, and scenario B would instantly make me say to myself, "I wish I had the time for that." likely in a super shitty way. Here's the thing. I'm admitting it. I am sooooooo busy, but the real deal is that I would love to do nothing during the weekend besides relax, and the girl who has time to go to the gym at lunch? She's happier and more balanced than me, and for that, I am jealous.

Let's assume people know we are busy (because we've told them like 20 times). Does it change it at all?  Does it make you feel better? You still need to find some time, space, balance, closeness- something, that while it won't make you any less busy, it will make you a human being that feels connected to something greater than just the things we accomplish by being busy. And isn't that what we were all meant for? To be, not just to do?

So let's be bored, let's be balanced, let's be inspired, let's be kind, let's be an ear, let's be a friend,  let's be intentional, but for the love of pete, let's stop being so damn busy.

May 21, 2015


I've felt a need to write lately, for no other reason than in hopes of calming the crazy in my mind. I thought maybe it would help to write all the feelings that come with trying to have it all and not lose your shit on a daily basis. Two years ago, got the dream job, worked ass off at dream job to get dream promotion. Then have been riddled with anxiety since getting dream promotion. It's a vicious cycle isn't it? How you can be really happy, feel entirely blessed with what you have, but also have a constant fear of it slipping away?

Insert where my fingers meet the keypad and I sheepishly say "I'm Back..". Also, my sister is somewhere around here, maybe I can get her to come and talk about life with her 5 year old. Yes, time flies when you're Adulting (my new term for when you are acting like an adult but you don't feel like one) real hard.

Here is my attempt to discuss everything and anything that's on my mind in hopes it shuts the hell up.

My short list

  • Happiness
  • Anxiety
  • Work/Life Balance
  • Babies? ugh
  • Friends? double ugh
  • Adulting (not to be confused with adultery, but I guess that's a solid subject too) 
  • Conquering yoga studios
  • Worthiness
  • Woman CEO's
  • How Do I become more creative?
  • Conquering pretty much any physical activity
  • Airplanes

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